Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted.
Tuned to the Source are those feeling deeply confused by life; they shall be returned from their wandering.
I was thinking about thinking during meditatio today. How would it be to have thoughts tuned to the Source. What is it to be tuned to the Source? What Source? The Source of life? The Source of me? The Source of my thoughts? Are my thoughts the source of me? If I were tuned to the Source of my thoughts, what would that be like? Can God be the Source of my thoughts....Oh that is a scary thought!
Right now I'm thinking........ how my stomach buldges over the top of these jeans....even when i suck it in. I'm tired but I haven't exercised for 30 minutes, yet.. I'm beginning to feel like I'm on a diet that I will never get off of. How long has it been since I had a cinnmaon roll. I used to love cinnamon rolls. I should just give up and eat the way I want...if I do that what would happen to my thighs. I used to like my thighs. When did I ever like my body....when did I ever think that I was just right, not perfect but just OK. I can't remember a time. I do remember my cousin Issac telling me to suck my stomach in so I wouldn't have a pot belly. I was ten years old. I didn't know what that was at the time but I've been holding my stomach in and looking at it while I hold it in ever since....when will it be time to relax?
During meditatio I was able to stop the conversation in my head for just a minute. I took a moment to consider how tired I am of thinking these type of thoughts to myself. I can actually think myself into a bad mood with these types of thoughts. I've done it. When I begin to question who is the speaker and who is the listener I acknowledge that there IS a speaker and there IS a listener.
There has got to be a way to shut off the tape or change the channel?
Tuned to the Source are those feeling deeply confused by life; they shall be returned from their wandering.
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