It's 10:00 already! My meditatio on Beattitude #2

So I'm supposed to be chewing on my verse. but I'm hungry So let me go get something else to chew on first. There, now.  I have the other half of my breakfast sandwich. The first half  I actually ate seated at the table this morning. Now, as I sit at my desk, which is a little less cluttered today I am going to give five minutes to chewing on two things, my verse and my sandwich.

I won't go into the full description of the sandwich but it was good. It was better because I ate slowly enough to notice it...all of the texture, the full flavor of every ingredient. I noticed my body especially my mind wanting to hurry up, as usual. I noticed the struggle of either thinking about my verse or the food. Other thoughts kept vying for my attention...I kept coming back to my chewing.

Chewing on my verse...I can remember two periods of great confusion in my life. The first period was when I dropped out of college due to an untimely but wanted  pregnancy. The second was when my mother, stepfather and brothers and sisters moved back to Ohio and I remained n Kansas City with my grandmother when I was 12 years old. In both of those periods I experienced abandoment, fear, and lonliness.  Both times were associated with episodes of depression. And both periods of confusion eventually gave way to clarity and purpose. I can't say that I was "tuned to the Source" back then but I was on a search. I believed that there was a God that I could turn to and I did pray. I've been seeking ever since.

I've determined that a spirit-led or in my case, a spirit-seeking life vacillates between confusion and clarity. The destination is never reached completely but the clarity becomes deeper. I am now much more "tuned in" to Source than I was back then. I recognize the tuned-in state because there is less drama in my life. My mind  is more to feel my way out of confusion. Gently. Slowly. Moving toward the path of more peace just like a plant grows toward light...and pretty soon, there is quiet there is a slower pace there is less wandering.

So now what I need is wisdom on how to navigate in my new job. The lesson may be to use my old tools. They've worked before. They've led me out of confusion before. They've given me clarity before.  Breathe,  Be still, Believe.