Mind. Sit! Stay!

I was at a conference last week and for the mid-morning break there was a lavish spread.  Along with  the tea, coffee and fruit were trays piled high with pastries. There were scones, danish rolls and a variety of muffins enough to feed twice as many people as were actually at the conference. As I waited in line, the man behind me said in apparent dismay. "And this is only the beginning. From now until January 2 is the 'Feeding Season'  I try to resist but it is hard."

I took away two things from the brief conversation...That the Holiday Season was also the "Feeding Season" and for most people there is a need to resist.

However, I was able to walk away from that spread with only a granola bar and a cup of hot lemon tea. It hadn't been hard to resist because the practice of controlling my thoughts around food had been a regular part of my spiritual practice for over a year. Because of that practice of resisting what I don't need to eat and embracing what is good for me I'd been preparing for this Feeding Season without realizing it.

We are all constantly tempted to eat too much or to eat the wrong things or to eat for the wrong reasons. But consider this, it is always easier to NOT be disciplined. It is easier to choose to not exercise. . Criticism comes easier than praise; complaints quicker than gratitude. A frantic (too busy) pace feels normal. Building a daily schedule around times of prayer and reflection is more difficult. Add to that the constant barrage of bad economic or political news and you can see why one must work hard to not be in a constant swirl of worry and anxiety. 

But every day there are opportunities to "Stay" the mind.  As in "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee...." Isaiah 26:3

OR As in-

"Mind -you will not think that unkind thought."
"Mind- you will stop criticizing."
"Mind- you will not worry about this."
"Mind. No, you will not have a second helping."
"Mind- we are going to the gym today."
"Mind- Sit! Stay!


Admittedly, Staying the mind is not easy- but it can be done.  And what better practice tool for becoming more Christ-like than food!  Just imagine if every single time you thought about food or ate anything- you also thought about God.

Next week we celebrate Thanksgiving, a major part of the Feeding Season. Contrary to popular belief, most people won't gain a lot of weight during the Holiday Season.  A normal weight person may gain a pound or less, and an overweight person may gain only 2 pounds. The problem is that many people will never loose those few pounds. Year after year, the weight gained during the Holiday Season will account for a large part of all the weight gained in midlife. For more read the story- from the NY Times. 

One strategy to reverse this trend is to do an extended fast in January. Many church communities engage in this activity.  I realized last year following my 40 day raw food fast that the problem of my eating habits come from my thinking habits. I weigh less than now than I did last year not because of loosing the Holiday weight but because I have used the practice of fasting to discipline my thoughts around food.

The benefits of the Sacred and Fit Gradual Fast, or of any fast, is to cause a change INSIDE. If the only change after a fast is the loss of a few pounds, the point has been missed. Fasting is a spiritual tool that uses our desires around food to increase our dedication, determination, discrimination devotion and discipline. Every day can become a fasting day, if one is mindful of what is eaten and what is not eaten.

Don't be in the same place next year as this year. Let this be the year for real change.

Mind. Sit! Stay!

Lessons taught: Lessons being learned

I have always tried to be a good teacher. However for the last two years, since taking a new job at an HBCU, I've had to become a better student. The topic I am learning about most is...myself.

Teaching is ordinarily a lot of work and when you have to teach a course that you've never taught before this is called a "new preparation."  I was hired to teach courses that I had taught before- courses about the brain and about the brain and drugs. As it turns out, it is like a new prep teaching at my new school.  The majority of my students haven't had a science course in a number of years and are convinced that they don't like science. Others don't believe that they can learn it.

Then there are the distractions. Many of my students have jobs and work more than 20 hours per week. Some support families. A few are pregnant.

Then there are the demographics. Many of my students are first generation college students. Some come from lower middle class families but some are struggling and can't afford to buy the text book. One was recently arrested.

In the midst of all of this, getting to Chapter 6 by midterms is no longer the most important thing. And yet, I am challenged every day to utilize faith and compassion. Faith to see my students as capable learners, no matter what- balanced with enough compassion to assist where I can while not loosing sight of my primary role as educator. It is a hard balancing act....especially when I'm tired and lonely and just want to be back in Wilmington with William curled up on the couch with a cup of Chai tea.

So, I am learning that the very same disciplines I learned in Sacred and Fit around food are now serving me very well, as I discipline myself to not become overwhelmed. After learning how to be disciplined around food choices, I am now learning to discipline thoughts and my feelings around my job.  

As you know, my regular spiritual practice includes prayer and meditation and I am good at stilling my  mind in the morning before the day has started. What is more challenging is stilling my mind when there is a line of 15 people outside my office door. So what a surprise it was to learn that when I started every class period with 2 minutes of silence, that I began to feel better. That's it. That simple. Creating a moment of stillness, just two minutes, at 11:00 and 2:00.

I started this practice of beginning each and every class with 2 minutes of silence at the beginning of the year. The only other time I had attempted it was the semester before when a student had been murdered in his off-campus apartment.  At that time, it was a way to acknowledge the grief that my students were feeling. Now I use it to deal with fear, stress, anxiety and overwhelm...for them and for me...And it is working.

Not everyone has to participate..but everyone has to be quiet, so there is a class decorum that is set right away. During the two minutes, as I give the instructions, I feel myself calming down and leaving all the stress build up that has occurred before I entered the room. I leave all of those thoughts and "arrive" in class, becoming present to what I am doing and more importantly, why I am doing it.  The students also arrive and then we begin.

Along with this self-learning, my students also contribute to my education. The faith they place in me and in the educational pursuit strengthens my confidence and when I feel more confident and  composed I do a better job.  Contemplation leads to composure leads to self-confidence leads to competence...this is what I've learned...and the semester is only half over.

Detox: Body and Mind Cleansing:

A member of the Sacred and Fit Community called me up recently to talk about detox. Not detox from drugs and alcohol but detox from food. Here at S&F, we don't believe that you have to be 100% vegetarian (no meat), vegan (no animal products of any kind) or raw foodist (nothing cooked) to get the health benefit of a more restricted diet. We have found great health benefits can be obtained by simply eating LESS bad stuff; eating MORE good stuff and every now and then giving you digestive track a mini vacation- FASTING. 

Part of what makes a fast so difficult is the amount of toxins that are stored in the body. Most of the time, the steady stream of daily food leaves fat-stored byproducts in the digestive tract, liver and body fat. During a fast, the elimination of these toxins can be experienced as headaches, coated tongue, bad breath or fatigue. However, by the third day and with plenty of water, the effects dissipate.

 If you are not in a position to fast, then a less drastic step towards internal cleansing is a periodic detox. Essentially, it is a raw food/juice fast but for the purpose of cleansing and elimination. It can last a week or  1 day. One of my favorite raw food authors Nwenna Kai offers a 7 day detox program. There is also lots of information on detoxing on some websites that focus on, fasting. 

The fall of the year is a good time to think about a detox in order to prepare your body to be indoors for longer periods of time. In enclosed spaces,  the microbes that cause colds and flu will be in closer proximity to you for longer periods of time. Think of detox as preparing yourself to ward them off.

Think also of the psychological and emotional benefits of a day in which your focus is on your health and well-being. Fasting and detox can be used to turn the mind toward higher thoughts- producing a cleansing of both body and mind. 

It truly is not difficult and an added result is the release of weight (up to 1 pound per day!).  Of course, take care of yourself and if you are on  any medications, please check with your health professional before making a big change in your eating behavior.

In peace and in health,
  Cheryl

Slow miracles are just as miraculous

This week begins the second phase of my brother's (and our family's)  journey with cancer treatment. It is a journey that many families take. And many of you have probably experienced the trauma of it. First the initial diagnosis hits you like a fast moving train.  Then you give up normal life and enter the new life of experiences NOT of your own choosing. Your days are regulated by hospitals/doctor's visit/various appointments, and your nights, filled with uncertainty, or worse; pain, discomfort and uncertainty. 

As you may recall, my brother was initially given 6 months to live. Last January, he was told that 95% of people with his diagnosis don't survive and that only 5% are eligible for surgery. Well, now, 9 months later, he begins the preparation for surgery in November.

  While, my brother is very thankful for this new treatment plan, his preference, of course, was to be healed suddenly and miraculously. He is a devout Christian. He has many people praying for him and last summer was prayed for by the pastor of a huge church where other people had experienced miraculous healings. As one who has experienced a miraculous healing of a fractured vertebrae, I have no doubt that things like this happen. However, I have had much more often witnessed slow miracles, that happen over a period of time. I see my brother's progression out of the 95% and into the 5% as nothing short of a miracle.

Even though his miracle consisted of radiation and chemo, it has given him time to reconnect with his daughters and to become more thankful for each day of life. His faith has deepened. He has grown closer to God. These are all miracles.

It is easy to forget miracles like this when we are all in our busy normal lives. In fact, our busy normal lives sometimes prevent us from slowing down long enough to even notice miracles.  So, I committed to doing something about that.

This semester I committed to reminding myself and my students to just slow down. I now begin each class with 3 minutes of stillness. I began the semester by asking students to distinguish stillness from silence. They agreed that one can be silent (not talking) but still have a mind furiously working.  I then showed them some of the many research studies that show how a mindfulness practice that slows and eventually quiets the mind has also been associated with numerous health benefits in sick people, less violence among incarcerated people and improved grades with students.  The last one got their attention!

As the semester has progressed with numerous interruptions caused by moving into a new building during the third week of classes and having the second week canceled altogether because of Hurricane Irene, I've noticed that things seem to be flowing much easier. The students seem much calmer...but maybe this is my imagination...I'll report what happens after the first test. However, I am not imagining the calmness that I feel during those first three minutes. It is then that I reconnect with my desire to be a contribution to their lives and realize the utter privilege of being a teacher and how fortunate I am to have a job that I love. Perhaps starting each class with these type of thoughts will make a way for the miraculous to show up. If so, I plan to be aware of them when they do.

First the Earthquake then Irene...

Last Thursday afternoon, the ground shook under my feet while I was walking to class. The strange thing was that I didn't even notice it. What I did notice were the people that started pouring out of class room buildings. Students and professors were milling around wondering what to do. An earthquake, the first one in 70 years, had just shaken us all out of a normal day. The epicenter was was in a little town west of Richmond but the effects were felt for hundreds of miles. Even though there was no wide spread death and destruction, the earthquake did serve as a reminder that bad stuff happens (which I knew) and bad stuff can happen to me (which  don't like to think about).

So, for a moment, I was faced with the thought of being in a building that is shaking. I was surrounded by people who couldn't stop talking about the windows rattling and the floor moving--I walked away quickly to put their tales out of mind. After all, the shaking had only lasted for 45 seconds and nobody on campus was hurt. But then the very next day CNN started gearing me up for Hurricane Irene. The issue here was that since we own a  home in a beachfront community and the hurricane was fast approaching the coast of North Carolina there was a real chance that our house could be flooded or worse, blown away. -Bad stuff happens and bad stuff could happen to me.

As it happened, Irene chose to come ashore about sixty miles north of our little town of Kure Beach. There were over 1100 homes destroyed or severely damaged along the Outer Banks of North Carolina, the cost of clean up and restoring roads and bridges is likely to be over 70 million dollars. As I read these statistics, I was so thankful that Irene chose another path. But that didn't feel right. I am thankful that I dodged the bullet that hit a thousand other people. Where is the compassion in that??!!!!

So, now I'm grappling with--how to live by faith and at the same time realize that bad stuff does happen.  Despite what I tell myself on a regular basis, I know that even with regular exercise and eating right people still get heart disease and cancer. Even good God-fearing believers can get struck by lightening or get hit by a car.  Bad stuff still happens and can happen to me.

So why go through the trouble of trying to live a disciplined life or a spirt-led life or even a moral life when hurricanes and earthquakes happen  along with diseases and accidents. Well, my answer is that the practice of disciplining my behavior helps me in disciplining my mind. Having a disciplined mind, in my view, is the most important thing because when bad things happen I will always have a choice about how to react to them. I don't have to join the throngs of people fearful about the economy or afraid of the next hurricane (Katia is now forming off the west coast of Africa) or terrified of loosing my home.

The ability to cultivate a peaceful mind even in the face of a catastrophe or in the midst of a disaster is what I believe is the highest form of faith and devotion and it requires practice. So, while my green smoothie*, may not look like the most appetizing breakfast, in addition to great nutrition, it is also helping me prepare for hurricane season.



*For more information on green smoothies- see "Sites we like" at this blog OR check out my favorite recipes at the S&F website.



 

My three "P's": Path, Practice and Promise

My life is now centered around what I call my three P's but it wasn't always so. It has taken decades of praying and seeking and thinking and reflecting to arrive here with three P's as opposed to one or two.

When I was much younger and only had one P- the Promise of being saved- it allowed me too much latitude. I was saved but I still engaged in behaviors that were far less than saintly!  My life had lots of drama. I had trouble controlling my temper. I slammed doors, ran away from home (I was a mother with small children the last time I left home) and I suffered from depression. The depression was so bad that at one time I checked myself into a hospital for three weeks.

It was after being released from the psychiatric ward with anti-depressants that I realized that I needed more than a Promise. I needed a second P, a practice. I had a friend, at the time named Mattie, who was dealing with an abusive husband. She didn't want to be abused anymore and I didn't want to take drugs for the rest of my life so we decided to fast together. At the end of the 21 days, she had the clarity and courage to leave her abusive situation and I had the faith to flush my meds. I have not suffered from clinical depression since. During that first extended fast, I prayed in the spirit and meditated on empowering Bible verses for long hours. I didn't realize at the time that this was a contemplative practice like meditation.

Which leads me to my last P which is my Path. I follow the Teachings of Jesus Christ. Christ's teachings have one objective--to become Christ-like. For me this means -to love everyone at all times no matter what- to see the God in all.   Now, at the time I decided to take on this objective as my spiritual goal, I was having trouble liking my own husband, despite the fact that I was saved and prayed A LOT!   I needed to have a Path, a simple set of instructions to guide me. I turned to the Bible and planned to begin my search in the book of Matthew. Twenty-five years later, I'm still there, in Matthew, with the teachings of Jesus as recorded in the Sermon on the Mount in the language that Jesus spoke. (Read more about that here.)

In my Path, loving myself is a spiritual activity, which means taking care of my body and mind are a part of the Path.  I eat healthy as a part of my Practice. Loving is easier when I'm at peace, which is the Promise. Do I stray off of my path? YES. Do I forget the Promise? SOMETIMES. Do I get out of my Practice? MUCH MORE OFTEN THAN I SHOULD. But, I always come back.

In the last blog I talked about Visioning, which is always the first step. However, the three P's represent the "works" that always accompany Faith.  Now that you have envisioned what your best YOU looks like, consider what kind of P's will be needed to make you the person of the Vision..and if you are willing to share, leave some comments below. Your P's or Q's or T's whatever- might just help someone else.

Fall: The season for planting a vision

For many people, the end of summer represents the coming of the school year. No matter how glorious the summer, there is something exciting about anticipating a new school or a new grade or a new level.  Did you know that Nature follows a similar cycle? The Fall Equinox (the time when the daylight and the nighttime hours are the same in length) marks the beginning, not the end of a nature cycle. The spring time is not considered the beginning of a new nature cycle because of how much preparation is needed before anything gets planted. So the beginning of a garden starts in the fall, once the harvest is over and the flower stalks cut back. This is the time to plant ideas for next year's glorious bounty.

Everything in life  begins with an idea, a desire or an intention, including your goals for your own health and happiness. The planting of the desire is the first step. That is why the Sacred and Fit program utilizes Vision Boards to plant the seed idea of health and vitality deeply in all levels of mind. The vision becomes the object of faith or the "substance of things not seen." And as in any faith act, the belief comes before the manifestation.

The healthy you starts as the belief in the healthy you. The successful you; the prosperous you; the fulfilled you....all start with belief.  Yet, habits of mind often thwart our efforts. We want to believe BUT.....  That is where a contemplative practice comes in. Training of the mind and disciplining of desires is in essence a faith walk. That is why the Teachings of Jesus, stress the cultivation of a peaceful and tranquil mind, a mind in which faith can dwell unobstructed by doubt, worry and fear.

So, as the New Year starts, spend some time with yourself. What do you want to manifest in the glorious garden of your own life? Now is the season to plant the vision. 

Why stay on a Mostly Raw Diet?

In January I started the year on a 21 day church-wide fast. The church promoted a Daniel Fast which is refraining from eating meat and sweets. Because I already followed a relatively vegetarian  diet, I thought I'd step it up a notch and try a mostly raw or living food vegan diet for 21 days. That meant no meat or eggs or cheese and no cooked vegetables for 21 days. By the second week I noticed that stiffness and pain in my joints had gone away and that I had more energy and needed less sleep. By the third week I decided to extend the fast for another 19 days. And so for 40 days, I ate only living food.

Now it is six months later and I want to tell you what is happening now.  The truth is- I find it too challenging to eat only living food all of the time. So I listened to my raw food teacher NwennaKai.com and committed to eating a MOSTLY raw food diet. According to Nwenna, there are great benefits to be obtained by eating mostly or even 50/50 living food diet. So I aimed for 80%. That was in March. Now in August, I feel that I am slipping.

I still enjoy eating live foods but I'm more concerned about what I've started eating in addition. It started with salsa and chips. There is a raw food cracker recipe made with flax seed that I really like but it involves sprouting grain for 3 days and dehydrating for 24 hours. Much easier, I find to open up a bag of Tortilla chips. When I travel, I bring my own food but the last road trip emptied my stores of morning muffins- made with crushed, cashews and sunflower seeds (AlissaCohen.com) and Kale chips, so while at the health food store, I picked up a small bag of Kale chips from off the shelf. They cost nearly $7.00 for a 42g bag! I can make my own using a pound of Kale (300g) and cashew "cheeze" for about $5.00.

The one thing that can't be ignored about eating Living Food is that it takes times and planning. Raw food is not Convenient Food unless you have spent the time making it before hand.  Buying food closest to the source as you can and buying in bulk lowers the price substantially. Which is why the Farmer's Market or Food Coop is a better alternative to Whole Foods or Trader Jack's...but then your weekend is spent doing something with all of those vegetables.

Why go through all of this trouble? It has got to be worth it you. I have always been a yo-yo dieter and since making this life style change, I have dropped two dress sizes but more importantly, I feel better. I love eating as much as I want of foods that are good for me and I'm getting to know what my body needs to feel good.

So, now that I've given myself this little pep-talk, I will be going on another little fast this week, perhaps 1 or 2  days of  raw juices or green smoothies (1/2 greens to 1/2 fruit-) to get myself back on the wagon. After a couple of days of liquids, a crunchy green kale chip tastes wonderful!

Making Good Mistakes

It has been a while since I last posted on the Sacred and Fit Blog. During the last six months, the Sacred and Fit program has been completely revamped, thanks to the insight and input of the first class of participants. They taught me so much and their suggestions will benefit the new class that will begin in early 2012. One of the most important thing I learned from them is the benefit of good mistakes.

My minister recently described a mistake as "the action one makes based on the known truth at the time." Certainly, life provides many opportunities to grow in an understanding of what is "true." What is true at one age or stage may not be true at another. So acting on the known truth at the time provides valuable information as we gain experience and maturity. We learn what does work by first learning what is not working.

In the vastness of learning to love and honor ourselves there is also room to make mistakes. It is possible to take less care of ourselves because we lack the knowledge of what we need, or we don't consider ourselves an important enough priority or we get stuck in certain types of habits that we can't seem to break. I believe that it is possible to view even "bad" behavior as a "good" mistake as long as we are conscious and aware.

Not everyone wants to be a raw-food vegan but what being a raw-food vegan requires is being conscious of what one eats. Not everyone likes to work-out but what marathon runners understand is that in choosing a daily practice some other things won't get done. Both the vegan and the runner choose consciously and are aware of the consequences of their choices.

So, if one chooses to eat hamburgers and watch tv for hours, do so as a choice and choose consciously out of the truth that is known. But beware! A lot is required to face the truth that is known, to honestly confront your own barriers and to move on from one truth to another. The good news is that when ever that happens, no matter how long it takes, it will be the right time for you. And whatever choices have led to that point have all been good.

The After-the-Fast effect

I've been pre-occupied with family matters for the last couple of months but now I'm back. Since my last post was about the difference between fasting and just “not eating,” I’ll start where I left off.

As you may recall, in January, I went on a 21 day fast of raw food, I discovered some things.  First, I discovered that the purpose of fasting is to have a fasted life. By that I mean, the real purpose of a fast is what changes as a result of it….the after-the-fast part of your life. The primary intention of my fast was to deal with my feelings about my brother’s cancer diagnosis. I knew that in order to support him, I could not be in fear and panic mode myself.  I knew that to pray from a position of fear was not praying in faith, so I also wanted to have a stronger faith to believe for his healing.

Now, over  a month later, I’m finding that there was a fasting "residual" that I hope will be a part of my life for the remaining 344 days. First, I learned that fear is a product of the thoughts that I think. Fasting allowed me the clarity to notice the many times of the day that I would start feeling sad about my brother. The thoughts were for the most part, imaginings about his death, the effect of the loss by our mother or his daughters.  I determined to stop thinking about death and to imagine him healthy. I was able to do that during the fast and now after the fast, I’m still doing it.

The second thing I noticed is that I felt healthier eating raw food. For instance, I noticed that while everyone in the household had the flu-fever, headache, stuffy nose, etc., I didn't have a single sniffle. I noticed that the sciatic nerve pain I'd been experiencing for 3 years is just gone.  I have less aches and pains in my joints after my long drives to North Carolina or back to Virginia. I feel more alert...plus, I'm two dress sizes smaller. I decided to continue eating a diet of mostly raw foods.

The third thing I learned is that there are many many ways to fall in love with vegetables!  More on that later.

So, if you have an area of your thinking or a persistent behavior that needs to change, consider fasting. It’s not too late to fast for Lent!  Also, fasting need not be a total abstaining of food. Try a Daniel fast, no meats or sweets. Or a modified Daniel Fast, no sweets! How about fasting TV or giving up talk radio for your morning commute and putting in a devotional CD instead.  The important thing is to start small and to be gracious with yourself.  Changing to a healthy lifestyle works better if there is a carrot rather than a stick….Ha ha! Carrot, get it!

The difference between Fasting and Not Eating

  On a recent coaching call, I explained the difference between Fasting and Not Eating.  There is a big difference.  In both cases there is underlying thinking under the behavior but when you don’t eat, you are not aware or even interested in the underlying thinking, even though it may sabotage your efforts. It might look like this:

Every time you think about eating you tell yourself you are not eating because____????___ (here there are conscious and unconscious answers) Conscious- I am not eating because I need to lose weight. I need to lose weight because I want to fit my clothes. I want to fit my clothes because when I don’t I feel fat. Unconscious- When I feel fat, I feel like a loser. When I feel like a loser, I feel bad about myself. I feel bad because I shouldn’t be fat. I shouldn’t be fat because fat people are lazy and undisciplined. If I’m fat so I must be lazy and undisciplined. If, I am lazy and undisciplined. I might as well eat a doughnut.

 The Sacred and Fit program includes a Fast in the fifth week. The purpose of the preceding four weeks is to prepare for the fasting week. Although there is a lot of preparation for the gradual fast (buying a juicer and a blender, planning the weeks’ menus of raw foods etc.) the REAL preparation is for the Intention for a Breakthrough. This is what differentiates a fast from “not eating.”  Each participant brings a different Intention to the Fasting Week.  The intentions are generated by participating in the contemplative practice of Lexio Divina. This practice teaches how to focus and discipline the mind, so that during the fasting week there is a foundation for obtaining a breakthrough.

What kind of breakthrough? Well, as I’ve said many times, a weight issue is really a thinking issue. Food is meant for nourishment, but people eat for many other reasons. The REASONS for those behaviors is the actual problem behind the weight. During the first four weeks of Sacred and Fit, through journaling and other introspective practices you slowly uncover unconscious, unspoken beliefs that are “feeding” the behavior of overeating.  A breakthrough is a change in those beliefs.

So, do you believe that it is God’s will for you is to be healthy?

It is God's will for you to live a peaceful life?

It is God's will for you to have joy and fulfillment?

If you are overweight, stressed out, unhappy and unfulfilled, then there is a part of you that is not acting on that belief. Somewhere deep down, you don’t believe that it is God’s will for you to be healthy, peaceful, joyful and fulfilled.

Fasting will help you change the belief.

Simply, Not Eating won’t.

For more information on S&F program, including the gradual fast, go to our website www.sacredandfit.com.

Bringing order to my chaotic mind

As I negotiate this period with my brother, I am finding it challenging to remain in peace and at the same time not get entangled in other aspects of my brother’s life. My role is to offer support during the cancer treatment with the intention of him living longer than the prognosis. However, I am so tempted to try to “fix” things in his life even though “fixing” other people’s problems can be extremely stressful…and most time futile.

At least I know that I have this shortcoming. “Hello, my name is Cheryl and I try to fix people’s lives.”

One practice that has helped me tremendously  is what I am sharing with others in the Sacred and Fit community: the contemplative practice of Lectio Divina. In S&F 101, I made it much too complicated by suggesting that the four parts of the practices be done four times throughout the day. With so much traveling,  I found it hard to keep up with all of that, so I just started assigning a day to a single aspect of the practice and that has been much more manageable.

Throughout the day and ESPECIALLY at meal time, I focus on a single verse of scripture. This is week #4 so it will be “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” One Aramaic translation of this verse is

Healthy are those who have softened what is rigid within; they shall receive physical vigor and strength from all of nature.

This week, I will follow this schedule that I have also suggested to S&F102 members.

MONDAY -LECTIO- choose a verse and repeat/memorize the verse throughout the day and especially at every meal

TUESDAY- MEDITIO- make the verse your own, rephrase and personalize the verse.

WEDNESDAY-ORATIO- Pray the verse

THURSDAY- CONTEMPLATIO- Listen for the deeper meaning of the verse and answers to your prayer

FRIDAY- Record your reflections on how your life has been impacted by this week's practice.

During stressful times it is tempting to let my healthy habits go. I am too tired to exercise and too busy to eat right. Behaviors like this will always be preceded by thoughts run amuck with fear and worry.  A contemplative practice, such as Lectio Divina helps bring order to a chaotic mind and therefore helps keep the behaviors in check.

So far it is working. However, my brother starts chemo tomorrow.

And yesterday, our 75 year-old-mother was upset when he got into a big argument with his seventeen year-old daughter.  As a result of the fight, the daughter locked her self in the bathroom and called her mom, (his ex-wife) who was out on a date, to come and get her.

I’ll let you know how my practice is going.

Leaving a Legacy

Yesterday, my brother learned that the previous prognosis for six years was another mistake. Yesterday he talked to the oncologists, in Houston, who specializes in cancer of the pancreas and who will oversee his care. The prognosis is 12-15 months with aggressive radiation treatment, to be done in Houston and chemotherapy to be done in Miami. That is what the doctor’s says, but my grandmother would say “It’s the Lord that has the last say so.”

Given this news, I have been thinking about my brother’s legacy. He may have only 51 years or “If the Lord say so.” he may have many more.  Either way, he will leave a legacy.

 Like the responsible parent that he is, my brother is preoccupied with making sure that his daughters will be taken care of. He has saved for their college educations and one of his primary activities even during this difficult time has been to make sure that they have financial resources. Yet leaving their financial inheritance is not the only legacy he will leave.  He will now leave them these memories….these days, weeks, months and possibly years, in which he has lived with a cancer diagnosis.

I imagine that one benefit of having been given a prognosis such as my brother’s is that each day becomes meaningful. There is no time for petty grievances. The skills of patience, kindness and compassion would need be cultivated, if each encounter were possibly the “last” time.  I can only imagine the soul work one would have to do to leave a legacy of love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  A person might become more longsuffering, wiser in cultivating these traits in the face of excruciating pain and medical uncertainties. In the end, these days could be more fruitful in terms of Spiritual fruit than all the years that preceded them. This certainly would be an inspiration for those of us not in pain, because all of us will have a last day. 

The legacy of a life well-lived is a worthy endeavor for as many more days as the Lord say so.

Meltdown at Hot Yoga

I have a friend, Nancy Good, who works with trauma victims from all over the world. She has traveled to Israel, Palestine, Iraq and Afghanistan. She has worked with people from Rwanda and Sierra Leon. One thing that she always says is that if "trauma isn't transformed it is transferred." She insists that trauma will reside in the body and make an appearance as depression or anxiety or actual illness if not dealt with.

I have come to realize that you don't have to be in a war to be traumatized.

My brother's illness (pancreatic cancer) has been a terrible shock to all of us. When Damon first told me, I was too stunned to cry and later I became too busy to cry. In the last ten days, my sister and I have rearranged our lives to go to be with him in Miami. We have simultaneously provided uplifting and encouraging words to our brother, while trying to arrange for his care and help him figure out if he is going to stay in Miami for treatment or travel to cancer centers in Baltimore, Minnesota or Houston.  We have talked about his death and worried about his daughters.

Two days ago, I drove from my home near Wilmington, NC back to Richmond, VA where I work. I have a new course that starts on Thursday. I have a new research project that starts next Tuesday. I have two graduate students who are both in the throes of dissertation writing. I haven't seen my grandson in over a month.

It was during Yoga tonight, that I first realized that I couldn't stretch because my shoulders and back were so tight. Things got better as the class progressed (I do Hot Yoga so it's hard not to relax in 104 degrees).  However, about midway through the 90 minutes, I got so sick to my stomach I had to leave the room, something I've never done before.

Once in the bathroom, I couldn't throw up. but there on the floor besides the toilet I began to cry. Great big gulping sobs. I couldn't stop myself. I didn't even understand why I was crying. I hadn't been thinking about my brother, consciously, but I believe my body had.  My body was sobbing up sadness and grief and fear and anger and worry and stress. It seemed to last for an hour.
When it was over, I returned to the class and found I'd only missed two poses, less than 10 minutes. I forced myself to finish but I was exhausted.

After class, I sat in the parking lot and allowed myself feel all kinds of feelings -sadness, worry, regret, anger...all of it. Usually, after 90 minutes of Yoga I am feeling very loose and flexible but as I felt the feelings, I also began to notice that my shoulders and back were tensing up. I felt queezy in my stomach again. This is the body reacting to the mind...but this wasn't theory. I wasn't preparing for a lecture. This was MY body reacting to MY mind. Despite, Yoga and upteen hours of meditation and affirmation and thinking positive, I was stressing. That thought made me more stressed!

When I get into situations where I don't know what to do, I always breath. And so there in the car I began to take long slow breaths and concentrating on the breathing. I could feel myself relax. My stomach felt better but my shoulders were still tight.

What this little experiment taught me is that Nancy is right. Our body, mind and emotions are all connected. But if trauma does reside in the body, then so does stress, worry, anxiety and fear- the little traumas. There is actually evidence that those negative emotions are tied to specific illnesses and conditions. Stress is tied to diabetes and hypertension and also arthritis. But before the full fledged disease comes, the stress is still having an effect. Little traumas wear the body down.

You don't have to be in a war to be traumatized but at least you would know that you were traumatized! Most stress is cumulative, little things adding up over time. Little body aches that become "normal." The problem is that when a "Game TIme" happens, a big stressor, there is less capacity to handle it.

So, what to do? We cannot keep stressors from happening. We cannot prevent "Game Times." However, we CAN honor our bodies by making sure it is not incurring even more stress because of the food we are over-eating or the water we are not drinking or the exercise we are not doing. We can honor our minds with a regular practice aimed at cultivating more peace.  We can bolster our emotions by being happy on purpose and making ourselves enough of a priority to include REGULAR health-affirming activities that make us laugh or at least smile.

Today, I'm feeling much better. When I get to work, I will take my colleagues up on their offers to help me with my classes. I will arrange to work with my graduate students over email.  Tonight, I'll watch one of my favorite Bette Midler movies. In three days I will visit my grandson. Just thinking about him, makes me smile.

On Saturday, I leave for Miami.

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine but a broken spirit drieth the bones." Proverbs 17:22

The doctor made a mistake...

My brother's doctor made a mistake three days ago when he told him that the cause of his pain was an inflammation. The biopsy results came back, the diagnosis is cancer of the pancreas. The recommended treatment is surgery to slow disease progression and also pain management. My brother was told to put his affairs in order.

In my last post, I wrote about what is needed when there is a "Game Time"- a crisis in life that calls on all of your spiritual reserves. Death is like the Superbowl of Game Times.

I got the call the night before a planned dinner party. I had invited the Pastor and his wife over for dinner. It was a raw food dinner. I was in the midst of preparing the appetizers- raw granola cookies. I had a task list of when to start marinating the eggplant and processing the mushrooms to make "sausage" for the eggplant "pizza". My kitchen looked like a tornado had hit it with every horizontal surface covered with foods in different stages of preparation: the oatmeal being measured for the raw ginger cookies, the cashews and almonds soaking for the crust for the raw apple pie; the fresh rosemary and oregano remnants from my herb garden needing to be washed for the homemade herb vinaigrette salad dressing.  I stopped in the midst of what I was doing and made myself pancakes.

I needed comfort food. So, I made some space between the burners on the stove and made pancake batter.  I found white flower, left over from Thanksgiving, along with white sugar, cow (not soy) milk and actual butter. (All things I don't regularly eat but all regularly used by my husband who says he doesn't want to eat like a rabbit!) When the pancakes were ready, I sat down at the table and put my plate right on top of the Nwenna Kai's "Goddess of Raw Foods" cookbook. I covered the pancakes with maple syrup and ate until I was stuffed. Then I waited to feel better.

Nothing happened. The sky did not fall down because I had eaten white flour..but the warm inviting glow didn't appear either. Actually, I didn't feel any different...and that is the point. The comfort food didn't really comfort me.  I cleaned up my mess and went into my bedroom and there in the quiet, I sat, quieted my mind and prayed.

There are no shortcuts. Although a good meal is an enjoyable thing, (Pastor, to his surprise, LOVED the eggplant pizza!) food cannot heal a broken heart or minimize grief or undo past regrets. However, there in the quiet, I realized that underneath the sadness and the grief and all of the regrets I have regarding my relationship with my brother...underneath all of those feelings and emotions, there is a calm, I can't describe. I guess I needed to be reminded, that I cannot eat myself to that place.

Beginning January 9, I am consecrating 21 days for prayer and meditation. Eating raw food and drinking fresh juice will aid me in quieting my mind and seeking direction on how to best support my brother. I plan to begin the Sacred and Fit program and will use it as part of my devotionals.
It is the beginning of the semester, I have a new class to teach and I'll be traveling to Miami in the midst of all of this. I ask for your prayers for our family, especially my brother. His name is Damon.

Practice For Game Time

Today I learned that my brother has an inflammation of the pancreas. I am so thankful. Before today's scan, his doctors had suggested that the cause of his abdominal pain was pancreatic cancer. The doctors probably told my brother a whole list of possible illnesses but what he investigated on the internet was pancreatic cancer.

After diagnosing himself and reading the prognosis online, my brother told his daughters and ex-wife that he was ready to go. He talked about updating his will. He consulted with his Pastor. He contacted his job about long term disability. He talked about his death.

When he initially called me, I asked him for more details about the diagnosis and made him admit that today's scan was necessary before there could be a conclusive diagnosis. I suggested to him that perhaps it could be something else, that there was no reason to jump to the worst-case scenario. And I admit, for a minute, I was tempted to jump in there with him. I felt that first pang of fear. But then I deliberately took a deep breath and decided not to go there. This decision only took a second.

Actually, the preparation for that decision has taken hours and hours of practice. Long before this moment on the phone there had been many many other moments of sitting in meditation. I had practiced breathing myself to calmness or bringing my thoughts back to a scripture again and again, trying to find the deeper meaning.  During my times of meditation, I had experienced distinguishing the mindless chatter of my own mind. I knew how to purposefully choose one thought to dwell on or to just listen or watch as thoughts come and fade away. Because I had practiced not reacting to the first thought or the worst thought, when I got my brother's news, I could remain in peace...and speak in faith.

The practice of contemplative meditation helped prepare me for bad news.  Without the practice, I would have been easily tempted to add my agreement to my brother's fear. You don't realize how important practice time is until there is a game time.

In an Essay called "Freedom is a Discipline"  Howard Thurman, spiritual adviser to Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote "At the very center of personal freedom is a discipline of the mind and of the emotions. The mind must be centered upon a goal, a purpose, a plan. Of all possible goals purposes, plans, a single one is lifted and held above the others as one's chosen direction. Then the individual knows when he is lost, when he has missed the way. There emerges a principle of orderedness which becomes a guide for behavior and action."

What does this have to do with your health? Everything. Just like there is a freedom in not allowing yourself to think every negative thought, there is also a freedom in not allowing yourself to eat anything you think you want.
It may appear that establishing a life-time eating plan and abiding by your own rules for a healthy lifestyle is a difficult thing to do. But actually, there is freedom in discipline.  Meditation is practice in disciplining your mind. Choosing a bran muffin instead of a doughnut is practice in disciplining your behavior. Practice helps you get ready for game time.

In S&F 102 there will be more emphasis given to establishing your own contemplative practices, in order to become more conscious of your eating and food choices. Spiritually speaking your weight issue is a gift. Your decision to acknowledge that a change is needed is just like making a decision to follow Jesus' teachings. First is the decision and then the corresponding actions.

Your decision to live a healthier life style is now providing you opportunities for two types of practice..one for the thinking and one for the behavior. Since we all MUST eat, we now get to change the way we eat, what we eat, when we eat and why we eat. We get to eat on purpose and in order to do that, you must be aware of every single thing you put in your mouth. In other words, we get to practice disciplined thinking and disciplined behavior around food.

Practice for game time.

Growing a Vision

A vision can begin with a picture out of a magazine- the family you really want; the house of your dreams. A vision can come from a conversation-an idea for new career. It can begin with a television show- someone you admire and want to be like; a debt free life and financial freedom. A vision can also be birthed out of desperation- a desire for something to be different; health for a family member or peace for a loved one. A vision can come from that person that got on your last nerve or the thing that is making you loose your mind.

A vision is like a seed and always begins as a small thing, a thought or a single word or feeling....but if provided the right conditions, if nurtured over time, if protected from doubt and resignation and hopelessness, a vision will draw upon the invisible elements of earth, sun and wind and like any other seed, unfurl itself towards heaven.

But first, if nurtured by faith- a clear intention and steadfast resolve-, a vision will push down roots. Given time and attention those flimsy tiny roots will grow even deeper in the dark stillness of a quiet mind. When watered with with prayer and meditation the roots will grow stronger moving around stones of unbelief or even through impenetrable rocks of fear.

Eventually, the roots of a seedling vision enable a breakthrough in the soil of circumstances. No matter if the soil is cluttered with the dead and the rotting. The living shoot will prove that no vision is ever wasted.  Even a former vision that was abandoned in the past and thought long dead has something to contribute. For in the growing of visions, there is no past. What appears dead and rotting serves as compost, providing softness and warmth for the new and the now.

Inevitably, a vision will manifest.

It is my custom during the first week of each new year to create a vision board. I place on it photographs and images of things I desire in my life. I have learned over the years, as houses and jobs and finances would manifest and as relationships were healed and bad habits gave way that what every single change in my life required attention to the "inner work" of growing a vision.

Sacred and Fit 102 will begin January 9 and it just so happens that my church will begin a 21 day fast on the same day. I have decided to bring my fasting intention to the Sacred and Fit 102 Lessons and will be on a Gradual Fast up to and including the S&F fasting week #5. I have big visions for 2011, and you are an integral part of my vision. In fact, the success of your vision is MY vision.

Before we begin on January 9, take time to think about what you are envisioning for 2011. It is now time to take the photos and images you collected during Sacred and Fit 101 and take them out of the notebook and onto a Vision Board where you can see them and affirm them every day.

While a vision can begin with a picture from a magazine, the picture is only the beginning. The growing of the vision is the inner work and now is the perfect time to begin or to begin again.