I have always tried to be a good teacher. However for the last two years, since taking a new job at an HBCU, I've had to become a better student. The topic I am learning about most is...myself.
Teaching is ordinarily a lot of work and when you have to teach a course that you've never taught before this is called a "new preparation." I was hired to teach courses that I had taught before- courses about the brain and about the brain and drugs. As it turns out, it is like a new prep teaching at my new school. The majority of my students haven't had a science course in a number of years and are convinced that they don't like science. Others don't believe that they can learn it.
Then there are the distractions. Many of my students have jobs and work more than 20 hours per week. Some support families. A few are pregnant.
Then there are the demographics. Many of my students are first generation college students. Some come from lower middle class families but some are struggling and can't afford to buy the text book. One was recently arrested.
In the midst of all of this, getting to Chapter 6 by midterms is no longer the most important thing. And yet, I am challenged every day to utilize faith and compassion. Faith to see my students as capable learners, no matter what- balanced with enough compassion to assist where I can while not loosing sight of my primary role as educator. It is a hard balancing act....especially when I'm tired and lonely and just want to be back in Wilmington with William curled up on the couch with a cup of Chai tea.
So, I am learning that the very same disciplines I learned in Sacred and Fit around food are now serving me very well, as I discipline myself to not become overwhelmed. After learning how to be disciplined around food choices, I am now learning to discipline thoughts and my feelings around my job.
As you know, my regular spiritual practice includes prayer and meditation and I am good at stilling my mind in the morning before the day has started. What is more challenging is stilling my mind when there is a line of 15 people outside my office door. So what a surprise it was to learn that when I started every class period with 2 minutes of silence, that I began to feel better. That's it. That simple. Creating a moment of stillness, just two minutes, at 11:00 and 2:00.
I started this practice of beginning each and every class with 2 minutes of silence at the beginning of the year. The only other time I had attempted it was the semester before when a student had been murdered in his off-campus apartment. At that time, it was a way to acknowledge the grief that my students were feeling. Now I use it to deal with fear, stress, anxiety and overwhelm...for them and for me...And it is working.
Not everyone has to participate..but everyone has to be quiet, so there is a class decorum that is set right away. During the two minutes, as I give the instructions, I feel myself calming down and leaving all the stress build up that has occurred before I entered the room. I leave all of those thoughts and "arrive" in class, becoming present to what I am doing and more importantly, why I am doing it. The students also arrive and then we begin.
Along with this self-learning, my students also contribute to my education. The faith they place in me and in the educational pursuit strengthens my confidence and when I feel more confident and composed I do a better job. Contemplation leads to composure leads to self-confidence leads to competence...this is what I've learned...and the semester is only half over.
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